Saturday, December 13, 2008

Jay Mariotti

Dear Mr. Mariotti,

You are the crowning achievement for pretentious opinionated dicksucks everywhere. Your columns for various newspapers put into ink the true genius of your self-loving masturbation. If your ego was any larger it would have to challenge Oprah's Minge for the biggest bitch on television. I don't know who's dick you sucked to get on Around the Horn (Most likely Tony's) but you've done a real bang up job. Excessive references to Chicago, the Bulls, and especially MJ have proved how your blatant home townism (even though you were born in Pittsburgh you scumbag) pervades your very being.
I hear by demand a fight to finally decide it all. Who is the biggest douche in the universe ? Jim Rome vs. Jay Mariotti in a winner take all, cage match to the death. Now that's a pay per view television event.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Paris Hilton's BFF is the best show ever to be on Television

If you are not a complete chodechoking dick suck you'll realize that I was being sarcastic. First, off Mtv... what the donkey fucking hell? What happened to music videos and Headbangers Ball? Jesus at least Beavis and Butthead made me giggle. Paris Hilton's BFF just makes me want to shit and puke all at the same time. PH BFF is the fucking Apocalypse come to a convinent channel near you. Every person on that needs their head cut off. Maybe the Islamic terrorists will do us all a favor and execute them, now thats a tv clip I would be willing to watch.

PH BFF is a cesspool of humanity. I have never seen a larger collection of Barbie dolls. These bitches are so fake that we could recycle them as plastic.
Paris Hilton needs to go back to doing what she is good at . . . making grainy sex tapes so we can all get back to our regular masturbatory schedules.

Paris Hilton wins the Miss Fake Btichslut of the Universe award.
Cunt.

Fuck Coombe we want Boone

Recently our illustrious Chancellor officially caved in to a few whinney bitches who believe that just because their cunt ass feelings are hurt that they have the right to ruin our mascot. Coombe has been quoted as saying that Boone just does not reflect our "diversity" on campus. What in the fuck is he talking about? Has he ever walked around our campus? There isn't a minority in a 10 miles radius of this white paradise.

Being politically correct, and that is what Coombe is doing, is just a form of censorship. Sooner or later someone needs to grow some goddamn balls and stand up to these minority groups who just bitch and moan about some imagined hurt they have suffered.

I also think Ruckus who is our frisbee esc piece of shit mascot is a goddamn disgrace to the University of Denver. If we can not use a Pioneer as a mascot then clearly we should not be the Pioneers perhaps we could be the Really stupid looking birds to go along with Ruckus.

Coombe your a pussy.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Intramural?

Intramural as defined by dictionary.com is an activity involving only students at the same school or college: intramural athletics.

So as I wandered into the basketball courts at Du just imagine my surprise when 5 assholes about 30-35 saunter onto the court. My first thought was hey these middle aged douche-bags are just down here trying to burn off some steam because their 30 something wives with fake tits wont fuck them any more unless its their bday, god knows the last tine they had a bj.

My fellow team mates were swollen with confidence. Apparently when your wife stops loving you and kids begin to resent your presence in their lives, you take up basketball.

It was a blow-out and not for the good-guys. Its just pathetic when 5 grown men enroll in a intermediate level intramural league. What school are they in at Du? The College of Harry Backs and Half Grown in Mustaches? I felt like I was on a gay porn set inbetween takes. These incarnations of overgrown boys trying to relive "the glory days" can hobble back to the alley ways of their ill-begotten youth and continue to suck cock for coke.

Ski Season

i hate all the those fucking idiots who want to go skiing the very first day of the season. OHHHH lets go ski the same shitty run 13 times in row while trying to dodge all the posers who couldn't tell a a ski pole from a dick in their ass. Not to mention having to listen to all those redneckass texans who drove 15 hours to " See them dang ole big hills in Calarada."

I mean it could be fun i was just learning how to ski... or was mentally handicapped.